'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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