It's Friday. Sex?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize