White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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