if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
