somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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