does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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