So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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