i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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