Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
