Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
false alarm, still single
Randomize
