I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pants are for mortals
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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