her vagine was all disorganized.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What a dumb baby whore.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
