hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
