I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
