belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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