she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
