I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
