id be glad to
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
