white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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