We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
