btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
