Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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