why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
