I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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