I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
