I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
