Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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