am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
