thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
