I heard we made out
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
