i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
