grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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