You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
