Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
