Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
