We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
