im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
