Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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