So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize