ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
