I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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