Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
