I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
