I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize