I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
