So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude. I can hear the air.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
