someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
