So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i out mim tonsoeep
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
