when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
