i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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