Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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