Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
