Pappa wants mamma naked
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well you can't waste a boner
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
