Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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