so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
