If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
